Not Just An Ordinary Mall

I thought it would be fun to introduce my international readers - and re-introduce my Canadian readers because I'm sure most of them are familiar with this famous national landmark - to the highlight of the city I live in, West Edmonton Mall. It's the biggest mall in North America and the fifth largest in the world. It covers over 6 million square feet in a huge-ass building. And I mean HUGE. I've lived in this city most of my life, have been to WEM gajillion times and I still manage to get lost! However I do always remember the way to Zara, H & M, F21, Anthropologie, Aldo, MAC and Sephora. : )~  I'm going to take you on a little journey and pretend you've come to visit me. First, I'd take you shopping! (Of course.)

There are over 800 stores and services in this mall. We just got our first Victoria's Secret store in Canada last week! I still haven't been inside; I went last Friday and there were about 100 people lined up, with security guards and all. I didn't have time to wait a couple of hours because I had a film to catch. Which I saw inside this mall since we have a massive movie theatre including an IMAX screen. Ok, back to our adventure!

Next I'd take you skating in the Ice Palace. We're in Canada after all...We could play a little hockey or practice our triple axle jumps.....Can you see Wayne Gretzky in the corner there???? Just kidding.

Let's play a round of mini-golf next. Or we could wait until later in the night for 'Putt 'N Glow' to play glow-in-the-dark golf, it's totally up to you.

Now I hope you brought your bathing suit/bikini/banana hammock because you just HAVE to experience the largest indoor Water Park in the world! When it's -30 degrees outside I like to come here and pretend I'm in a tropical country. There are palm trees in this complex, too and did I mention the pool turns into a wave pool every ten minutes or so?

Crappy picture but you get the gist of it, right? I've been on the one (of two) slides that go straight down. It's called the 'Screamer' but it should be called, "If you weren't wearing a thong then, you are now!" Note: Make sure you close your legs when riding this thing so your ass doesn't swallow your bikini bottom. And so you'll be able to bear children in the future.

Next I'd haul our butts to Galaxy Land, the largest indoor Amusement Park in the world : )

This place makes me happy because I absolutely love rides! This roller coaster is called the Mindbender but my favorite ride is the Space Shot, formerly the "Drop of Doom", which drops 75 feet in the air, pauses, and then drops another 50 feet in the air in about 4 seconds. Your heart jumps in your throat. It's AWESOME! The last time I was here I rode it five times in a row because there was no line-up. D. watched from the deck because he would've hurled if he went on with me. But you of course YOU would accompany me, right? ; )

This area is called the Sea Cavern. It's an indoor lake that contains a salt-water habitat with four sea lions and a replica of the Santa Maria. There's a ship? In the mall??? Why yes, yes there is!

Here's a close-up. The Santa Maria has been used for fundraisers, charity events and weddings. Also, a few drunk people have been known to jump into the water late at night. There are many pubs, an entertainment complex and a few nightclubs in this mall so people tend to get a little out of hand. But let's stay dry, ok? I don't wanna get arrested.

We'd definitely have to go see the Sea Lion show. Here's one of the them entertaining the audience : ) Isn't he cute?

Oh hi, Jessica Alba! Here's Jess when she was filming scenes for "Good Luck Chuck" with a few friends in the mall's penguin habitat.

After our day of shopping and playing I'd treat you to dinner at one of the numerous delicious restaurants located in the mall, probably on Bourbon Street...

 

...and take you to a show at The Comic Strip that will have you laughing your pants off. When you're ready to call it a day I would walk you to your Hotel (yes, it's in the mall, too) so you could get some rest. You could choose one of these theme rooms to stay in at the Fantasyland Hotel: Hollywood, Roman, Polynesian, Truck (?), Western, Arabian, African, Igloo (stereotype of Canada, here's me rolling my eyes), Sports or Canadian Rail with your very own Train Bed! You'd need a good sleep because we'd be doing this all again tomorrow!

So, are you in?




photos: taken by me and from Canada.com